Let's cut straight to the chase. It's a sale!
What is it?
Shirts that survived a fire (smoke smell), have been washed and are "almost new!" Do they stink? Yeah, like detergent!
Where is it?
Here MERCH SPECIALS
What do I get?
Woaah-ohhhh what do you geeeet!
A one-color print on a random assortment of shirts of my choosing. You send me the design and I make the shirts.
- 20 for $80 - You get 5 each of S, M, L, XL
- 40 for $140 - You get 10 each of S, M, L, XL
- 60 for $195 - You get 15 each of S, M, L, XL
What's the catch?
None. They are pre-washed shirts that were in a shop that got flooded with smoke during a small fire. There's no set-up fee on these. The price you see, is the price you get it for. I choose the colors, as it's a large, very random assortment, but the design is all yours. No junk or off brands. Anything stained or too badly smoke damaged will be donated, not sold. All the shirts are from established, quality manufacturers.
Once they are all gone the sale is over. I may make size substitutions due to availability. Also there's no rush orders or timelines on these as they will be printed in order of receipt between full-price jobs. That's about it. It's not a sale for everyone, but if you want some quick, random, fun cheap shirts to share with your friends, customers and fans, you'll definitely like this deal.
What you need:
- One color design and payment up front (PS – There will be tax. I don’t make the rules, I am just a slave to the man). I accept PayPal (email@example.com) or Venmo (@kinkykontrol) on this one. Also, if you “goods and services” me on Paypal, you will be refunded, have your order canceled, and should expect to be beheaded in your sleep by a battalion of bedbugs with tiny swords.
- Patience, young grasshopper. These orders don’t adhere to my usual ten business day turnaround. They will be worked into the production cycle between regular jobs.
- First come, first serve. When the stock runs out, so does the sale.
What you can request:
- Black or White Ink
- Dimensions of your design
- A double scoop (2x order, or 40 shirts) at twenty bucks off, or a triple scoop (you got this, right?) for an extra forty-five bucks off. But I’m capping it at 60 shirts so everyone gets a chance.
What you can’t request:
- What shirt colors you will get (or to have them all the same, cuz that ain’t happenin’ with this special)
- An extra side or print
- Rush order (these specials may take up to 20 business days as they will be squeezed in between full price orders)
- Any specific shirt brand, treatment or favors. No special requests. If you’re a pain in the tucchus, I’ll move on to the next. No soup for you. Only poop for you. A poopoo kiss. On your forehead. It’s not good. It stinks and it’s unattractive in general.
- An extension on the sale after it’s already over.
- That I do regular orders at this rate. Not gonna happen.
- “I know they went through a fire. Do the shirts smell like smoke?” Most no, some have a hint. Another wash and it should be gone. That said, shirts come as is.
- “Can I get these by….?” No. This special comes with no due dates or expedited service.
- “Can I just get all the shirts you got left?” No. This is a special for the people, not for a single individual.
- “Can I get more than one color ink?” No. This special is on one-color designs only.
- “Can I order more than one design?” Yes, in increments of 20, up to 60 shirts total with all designs. That said, additional discounts only apply to single designs. In other words, a new order must be placed for each design. You can’t order the 60 shirt special with three different designs. You can, however, order three designs with three 20 shirt specials. You can even order one design with the 20 shirt special and another design with a 40 shirt special. That brings you to 60 total shirts and an additional discount for ordering 40 shirts.
- "Can you ship them?" Sure, you pay actual shipping.
- "Can I pick them up at your shop?" Sure! And you'll save on shipping!
- “Can I kick it?” Yes you can.
Some backstory on the origin of this sale:
There was a small fire in my shop from a dryer that flipped because I did not engage the off switch all the way (nor did I unplug like I should have). It flooded my shop with smoke and everything was covered in soot. Fortunately the fire stayed contained in its place or it could have caused some real trouble. A couple of angels named Sandie and Marcus came to my shop when I was cleaning up the mess, and washed every single garment in my shop. I didn't ask them to, they just did it. They're amazing people, people!! I'm lucky to have such friends. Anyway, I can't in good conscience use any of these blanks for jobs and pass them off as new, so I am having this sale to put them in good hands (maybe yours?) and get them out of my way so I can move on from this disappointing day and onto better ones.
That's all for now! Got any more questions? Ask away firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll add the good ones to the list. Happy designing!